Over many years I have been exploring my relationship with food. It’s been variously, baffling, frustrating, bought me to tears, I’ve given up, I’ve been harsh, I’ve taken advice, I’ve read and read…..
Some places I have got to and some things I’ve found useful
Firstly: No one can tell me what to do not even me….After a while of ‘trying’ to eat healthily I just want to rebel and eat what the F*** I want….. I had to find out the psychology of it all and to fix my brain first.
My ‘natural’ regulation ie ability to hear my needs about food and only eat for nourishment is almost impossible for me to hear… amongst the noise of environment and an overstimulated brain perhaps also some ancestry issues here too- eg a history of addiction in my family. This means that I have forgiven myself for not being able to just tune into my needs and eat what my body is asking for.
The way I see it now is that my neurones have been zapped by years of overeating sugar AND by the enormous amounts of sugar and flour regularly available to me and the efforts that are made to sell it to me.
Understanding that IT’S NOT MY FAULT…. that our culture is stacked against me has been very helpful. We eat for so many social reasons and I love being social and eating with others.
I treat myself like an addict and have been working to re-wire my brain- or at least calm it down. Bright Line Eating has been soooo helpful.
Decision making around food is challenging….. and we lose our ability to say no our willpower through a day… when our inner resources are low… when tired after we’ve made a lot of decisions… planning helps….I now eat food and check- does it bring me peace? If so then it is part of my day… if not then I work to avoid it.
These are the things that do not bring me peace so I don’t do them: eat sugar, too much coffee, eat flour, eat between meals too much alcohol. Sometimes I can feel the out of control nature of my food addiction starting up… and I can usually trace it to something….an image, a conversation, a piece of something that made it into my mouth…a dream of a wonderful place to eat. All these things can trigger my planning brain to kick in and I can think of nothing else.
I’m aiming for peace now not being thin….
Does it bring me peace? this is now my criteria for eating… the what, the when and the how…
Anything You’ve learnt about eating? Could you apply… “Does it bring me peace to your eating?”